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I can't remember what movie it was but there was some movie that mentioned the persians and it cut to a quick scene of an obese, colorfully dressed persian man in the midst of a confetti rain double fisting exploding champagne bottles.


And that's all I can think of when I think about Persians.

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I like how rustic a lot of Persian cooking is. That's one of the reasons I'm so drawn to Greek food, along with health reasons. Also Greek food is like an orgasm for my tastebuds so there's that.

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made picadillo


ground beef, tomato concentrate, garlic, shallots, cinnamon, and two bird's tongue peppers


diced apples and black raisins thrown in towards the end, and a little white sugar


Overall: needs to be more sweet. The tomato concentrate can fuck off, doesn't work at all, plus it makes the meat all sticky which I don't like. Maybe if I used less of it, and more water. That would at least thin it down. Or I could use more onions or something else and cut the tomato out entirely --- I just feel that taking the tomato out and not replacing it with anything would make the dish really bland.


White sugar was a mistake and just served to cancel out the saltiness rather than making the dish sweeter. Cut the white sugar and add more fruit, that seems to be more the kind of sweetness you want (ie a sort of spicy, warm sweetness, what with the cinnamon and all). Like more raisins. Maybe pears instead of apples or something, or... plums? Figs!? I dunno. Figs sounds a little too crazy.


Oh and I also made homemade white flour tortillas. Delicious. And as easy and quick to make as pancakes. Store-bought tortillas: NEVER AGAIN.

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Thai Coconut Ginger Soup






4 cups coconut milk

1 cup water

1lb chicken breasts (skinless/boneless), sliced as thin as you can make them

4 tablespoons fresh ginger, minced

2 tablespoons (or to taste) fish sauce or soy sauce if you can't get fish sauce/don't like fish

1/4 cup lime juice

1/4 cup green onions, sliced

2 tablespoons cilantro, chopped

1 tablespoon salt








Bring the water and coconut milk to a boil. Add chicken strips and reduce heat to medium. Simmer for 3-5 minutes. Stir in ginger, lime, salt, and fish sauce/soy. Sprinkle on the onions and cilantro and EAT THAT SHIT YO.




Simple enough, DELICIOUS.


Serve with steamed rice and steamed broccori for dericious happy mouth time.


Pour it on it too, if you want.

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I used to make that often. Shouldn't you stir fry the chicken strips before throwing them in (and rinse them so you don't get oil in your soup)? I didn't think boiling water could cook chicken that quickly.


Also I don't think the chicken needs to or should be chopped up THAT thin.




This is what I'm thinking of for the picadillo next time:


- One brick of ground beef (idk how much a brick is in weight, basically it's two large servings).


- Two shallots, chopped very finely because I hate the texture of cooked onions.


- Three cloves of garlic, chopped.


- 1/4 teaspoon cayenne? Sound about right? Going for medium heat.


- 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon powder.


- A few pinches of allspice.


Then, thrown in towards the end:


- One entire red apple, peeled and diced


- About a cup... or maybe half a cup of black raisins and golden raisins, mixed (not too many goldens)


- Zest and juice of one orange. Maybe only half an orange?


and salt to taste


And no tomato concentrate, this time.

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No, you want the flavor in there and you're grossly exaggerating the oils that will be present. Boiling can cook it plenty fast. It will be soft to the tooth, yet still with a good amount of firmness. The thinner the cut the easier it will be to eat as a soup.

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ray you don't mind if others post recipes in here right


I suddenly remembered Ethiopian food yesterday and wanted to try. So I made injera, a kind of flatbread. It's thin (ideally) with a slightly bitter taste, and the texture is rubbery/stretchy. The natives eat it by just having a huge table-sized one and tearing scraps off to wrap food with, which is what I did. I have no idea wtf they do for fillings over there so I just made something up.



- One volume flour (I use white flour, in Africa they use some weird african flour made from a foreign grain, and I'll prolly use buckwheat flour next time).

- One volume water.

- Some yeast, I used a teaspoon.


1. Mix flour and yeast.

2. Gradually stir in water until you get a smooth batter.

3. Let it ferment overnight. This is how it gets stretchy and spongey, and gives it the bitterness.

4. Cook it on a pan. Put a little oil on the pan, just barely enough to make it shine, then pour the batter on top. You want a really thin layer of batter. Just barely more than what you'd use for a crepe. I fucked this part up and made one of my injera about as thick as a pancake. Still tastes fine but it's harder to wrap things.



1. Chopped the red pepper up as finely as I could.

2. Stir-fried it with salt, cayenne, ginger, lime, and cumin. Cumin was pointless, ginger and lime is where it's at. I also cooked it for too long, would've been better almost raw.

3. Poured on more lime juice right before serving.



1. Browned some pork chops on a pan.

2. Simmered in a closed pot with some water for about two hours. Threw in salt, two big cloves of garlic (chopped), cayenne, mexican-style hot sauce, coriander. Took it out and shredded it. Tasted it.

3. Tasted fucking boring, and way too tough. So I threw it back in the simmering water and poured in lots more cayenne. Also put in a marble of butter because... I dunno. It just seemed like a good idea, and I think it payed off. Left it in there for five minutes until the meat had nicely softened. It was now delicious.


Put the injera on a plate or a wooden chopping board or whatever. Pile the filling on top. Tear bits of wrap off and scoop up the filling with it. The fillings were the first recipes I ever made up completely from scratch and they were fucking succesful.

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As long as they're good recipes and not stoner food or food for 5 year olds (like beanie weanies, which falls under both of those), sure, post away. Otherwise use the snack thread.


The problem with water-cooking meat is that you lose a lot of the flavoring. This is true about a lot of foods. And pork is a meat you DO NOT want to overcook, it should be medium-rare at its highest.

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- One volume flour (I use white flour, in Africa they use some weird african flour made from a foreign grain, and I'll prolly use buckwheat flour next time).



If it's not teff, the end product doesn't taste right. The greater gluten content in wheat flour makes it quite different. Buckwheat sounds better, but I am sure you can find some teff flour in France.

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man whatever the important thing is the stretchiness. There's no "right", only "good". And it definitely tasted good.

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2 1/2 cups Guinness Draught

2 1/2 cups Beef Jus (uh... not sure if you actually just buy this, we make ours. Making it is definitely the way to go, especially if you use short ribs to do so because ffffuuuuck yes short ribs)

1/4 cup corn starch slurry (for thickness)

1/2 tablespoon tabasco or chalua sauce

1 tablespoon worcestershire sauce

1/2 tablespoon minced garlic



1 white onion, large



2 pieces Rye bread

1 beef patty

2 pieces cheese, I used swiss and was quite pleased. A white cheese is suggested.

Olive oil to caramelize in







Slice your onions thinly and caramelize in a pan. Mix the Group A ingredients in a pot, put over medium-high heat stirring constantly. Sauce should thicken slightly. Add your onions into the sauce, continue stirring and cooking Salt to taste.


Grill your burger (I use a flat-top for this, you'll want at least a pan to sear on later).


Take your rye bread, butter one side of each piece, and put it into a heated pan over medium heat (butter down), place one piece of cheese on it, then your burger, then another piece of cheese. Pour sauce, with the onions, onto the burger and put the other piece of bread on it. Let it toast. Flip. Toast. Add more sauce/onions if necessary, otherwise enjoy DELICIOUS FUCKING MEAT.



fuckin' delicious

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The lighting sucks on these, but whatever





Cheese/fruit platter and a special I made that we ran last night. It's an herbed savory cheesecake (no sugar, salt/pepper instead) with grilled raddichio, grilled peaches, some grilled baguette, and tapenade.

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I love the sights and smells produced by the combination of hardened, moldy dairy produce and sex induced plant flesh.

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Portobello Sandwich


You need:

Portobellos (as many as desired, I used two heads for a sandwich)

Red Pepper, fresh, thinly sliced (as thin as possible)

Red Onion, also sliced in same manner


Brioche bun (or other desired bread)

Arugula lettuce

Lemon Juice, fresh squeezed is best but not necessary

Garlic, minced

Fresh thyme, chopped

Olive Oil

Tomato, heirloom if possible.



The Portobellos:



Cut the heads off and dig them out (you can leave the innards in if you wish, it's really just personal preference). Toss them in olive oil, sprinkling salt and pepper on them. Put them on a pan with a small dab of butter on the top of each one. Sprinkle with herbs (thyme, oregano, or whatever you wish) if desired. Roast in oven for 10-20minutes at 350 degrees. (They should brown and crisp up, but still be moist).




The Dressing:


1/3 cup Lemon Juice, 2/3 cup olive oil. Mix the olive oil into the lemon juice very slowly with a whisk, making sure it mixes properly and doesn't break. Mix in half tablespoon garlic, and a tablespoon of thyme, and salt/pepper to taste. Toss arugula in this.



Toast the bun on a grill (or in a sautee pan with a light oil coating), place a portobello on it. Add feta, peppers and onions, a slice or two of tomato, and dressed arugula and another portobello. EAT.

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I remembered Red Bean Paste yesterday and wondered if you could make it with kidney beans, which it turns out you can, but then I needed some sort of pastry to use my new invention in, and since I don't have an oven I had to fry it:



1. Boil some kidney beans for maybe about twenty minutes, just until they get really soft. You get about five dumplings per 400g (14 ounce) of beans.

2. Mash them and force them through a sieve or something to get out the skins.

3. Stir in some sugar and let the paste cool.



1. Make pancake dough. This is a little under a cup of flour per 400g of beans, and about a teaspoon of baking powder per cup of flour. Mix those up with some sugar, then add an egg and gradually stir in some milk until you get a dough capable of holding a shape.



1. Make the dough into little balls filled with paste.

2. Fry in oil.


If you sweeten the fuck out of the beans I reckon this should work with some ice cream or something.

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Potato and Mushroom Lasagna with Nage ("nahj") Butter Sauce


Cut four large potatoes into blocks, then slice lengthwise into 1/8th inch strips (you should get about 6-8 layers per tater). These are the lasagna layers, there's no pasta involved. Place a layer of parchment paper on a pan, brush it with melted butter and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Put the strips down on this and brush the tops with butter and more s/p. Put another layer of parchment paper over them and bake at 350 for 12ish minutes (until fork tender).


You want a good mixture of mushrooms, all thinly sliced, for this. All I had available when I made it were crimini, portobello, and shiitake. Melt some butter into a saute pan and toss your white mushrooms in for a minute. Add your dark mushrooms and s/p. Once they've released their moisture, add in some finely diced shallots and chives and toss till they're all soft and nicely reduced.


Make your lasagnas three mushroom layers high and bake for 4-6 minutes.


For the sauce, which is applied just before serving, you'll need to make a veggie stock. Cook your stock with white wine and reduce. Add butter until creamy. Blend to properly emulisfy (this should only take a moment) and throw in peeled, diced tomatoes and chives. Pour over lasagna.




Also been experimenting with various methods of fig poaching. My god poached figs are delicious.

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