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This is my fucking around cook book from my work in the kitchen. Some recipes may be rough as a big part of cooking is finding your own palette pleasing balances, and exact measurements are not always used.

 

Made a recipe at work today that they're considering adding to the full menu.

 

 

Mediterranean Chicken and Roasted Red Pepper Hummus Pizza

 

This is going to be broken into two parts, one for the hummus and one for the pizza. You will need a food processor, a stove, and an oven (or a grill with a pan/flattop).

 

Hummus

 

To make the hummus, just use this recipe. It's almost exactly how I make mine, except my measurements were larger and by eye/taste. Taste your hummus as you make it, the ingredient amounts can be very flexible and should be adjusted to taste.

 

Pizza

 

You will need:

Tandoori seasoning blend (this is often found premade in the grocery spice section, but a recipe for one can be found below in the spoiler tags)

Salt and pepper

Crushed red pepper (optional, but recommended for spice)

1 Chicken Breast

Fresh spinach

Fresh basil

Fresh thyme

Feta cheese

Red onion, diced

Fresh tomato, diced

Olive Oil

Pita

 

 

-Grill your chicken breast until cooked. Chop into small pieces (almost minced).

-In a small bowl, combine your thyme (removed from stems), shredded basil, onions, and chicken. Put in a pinch of salt/pepper, a dash of red pepper and a dash of your tandoori seasoning. Mix together by hand.

-Shred your spinach and place into another small bowl.

-Add feta cheese, crumbled, into your spinach.

-Pour a dab of olive oil into your spinach/feta. Oil should only be enough to lightly coat your spinach. This is just to soften it up and wilt the leaves a little, and isn't intended to seriously affect taste.

-In a saute pan, place a small amount of olive oil* (just enough to lightly coat your chicken mixture, remember you don't want to drown it). Reduce the olive oil until it is almost gone, making sure to give the mixture a stir occasionally to ensure an even coating and cooking.

-Pour cooked chicken mixture into spinach mixture and mix thoroughly.

-Spread hummus onto pita, coating it fully except for a crust around the edge. Place in oven (at 400) or on a grill (preferred manner) until pita is lightly toasted to crisp, depending on preference.

-Pour toppings mixture onto hummus and spread evenly.

-Give it a light coating of diced tomatoes.

-Slice and enjoy!

 

*I used clarified butter which you can look up how to make on your own if you want to use it (it's really easy), but for time's sake I'm using olive oil in this recipe.

 

 

 

 

 

1 1/2 tsp garlic powder

1 1/2 tsp paprika

1 tsp cayenne pepper

1 tsp ground coriander

1 tsp ground cumin

1 tsp ground ginger

1 tsp salt

1/4 tsp ground cardamom

1/4 tsp ground cinnamon

 

Mix that shit, bitch.

 

 

 

Seriously though, this shit is delicious. Had the staff jizzing all over the place for it.

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At first I read "hummus" as "humans" and figured it was a joke. Then I noticed the link was to a middle eastern food site and for a second I was all wtf.

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I created a peanut butter and baconana shake today.

 

Peanut butter, ice cream, two bananas, milk, bacon fat and bacon bits.

 

Oddly delicious but uh the texture is just about the most disgusting thing ever and would not recommend.

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Delicious chicken dish is delicious.

Tomato Spinach and Cayenne Chicken

 

You'll need to make a tomato vinaigrette first, which means you'll need a really good blender or a food processor (or you might be able to find one, but I dunno). Take four or five roma tomatoes and quarter them. Take a half of a shallot onion (save the other half, you'll need it later) and slice it up. Put both of these in the mixer, and add a balsamic vinegar, just enough to cover about a fourth of the mixture. Blend till smooth. Slowly pour in about another fourth of olive oil, but add it slowly as you mix (you don't need the blender for this, you can just stir it now with a whisk). If you don't pour it slowly the dressing will break and the oil will not mix. Once you have it mixed, add a dash of sugar and enough salt to your preference. Adjust balsamic if necessary.

 

Take some ground cayenne pepper, some powdered garlic, and salt and pepper and mix together into a seasoning blend. Evenly coat a chicken breast with you seasonings. Sprinkle some crushed red pepper on it and put on the grill. Do not overcook, you'll want it juicy for this dish.

 

Slice the remainder of your shallot onion as thin as you can make it. In the smallest saute pan you have put about one tablespoon (doesn't have to be exact) of olive oil and put on medium-high heat. Heat till almost smoking (this doesn't take long, so watch it) and add the rest of your onion. Get it spread evenly on the oil, and give a stir occasionally. This is to caramelize your onions. Get a couple pieces of sliced artichoke hearts and toss in with the onions and add a sprinkle of salt to the artichokes. Once the onions are very soft and are limp remove from heat.

 

Toss some fresh spinach in a dash of your dressing. Put on plate. Slice chicken into long slices and put on top of spinach. Put the caramelized shallots evenly (you don't want too much, just enough for the flavor) over your chicken. Finish off with the artichoke hearts.

 

Viola, you have delicious.

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Meal time!

 

Home baked pita chips with roasted red pepper hummus, served before a white bean tuna salad on pita with cucumber

 

PART 1: HUMMUS

There is a recipe in the first post, the only difference is that I added some fresh parsley (mostly for the color). Hummus can be served cold or warmed up. I prefer mine cold or room temp.

 

PART 2: PITA CHiPs

 

http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/6177/ericestradayou27reahomo.jpg

 

 

-As much pita as you would like to make chips for

-Basil (ground, dried)

-Garlic powder

-Olive oil

 

Rub the pita with olive oil lightly. Lightly coat with garlic powder. Sprinkle on basil. Cut into desired size. Rub baking sheet with olive oil and put pita on. Cook at 375 for about ten minutes, or until desired level of crispiness. Viola, easy.

 

I cut my pita into thin, pizza-shaped slices and place them on a plate, pointing inward, circling the bowl of hummus.

 

 

 

 

PART 2: TUNA AND BEAN SALAD WITH CUCUMBER ON PITA

 

 

-1 large can chunk light (or white, whatever you prefer) tuna

-1/2 can great northern beans

-Red and green bell peppers, diced

-Ground cumin

-Salt (I use seasalt in pretty much everything, btw, so whenever I say salt just assume I mean seasalt unless I specify otherwise. They can be used interchangeably but seasalt has more of a bite)

-Parsley, fresh

-Pepper (fresh ground if possible, you can buy grinders with the peppercorns pretty cheap)

-Garlic, fresh, minced

-Shallot onion, 1/2, minced

-Cucumber

-Roma tomato

-1 Pita per serving

-Lemon juice

-Olive oil

-Mayo

-Romaine Lettuce or a spring green mix. A spinach/romaine blend is fine too.

-Feta cheese

 

Drain the tuna and put into a bowl. Drizzle olive oil and lemon juice over it, set aside. Heat a pan with some olive oil (just enough to cover the bottom, you don't want your food swimming in it, but you don't want it to all evaporate instantly either) on the stove on medium heat (this takes >1minute, and it won't be boiling or anything so you pretty much just have to guess unless you know how to heat oil. It shouldn't be smoking). Place your garlic, shallot, and peppers into the pan and stir. Once the garlic turns brown (not black) you are done, remove from heat and pour into tuna. Remove the parsley from stems and put a hearty amount into the tuna. Add salt and pepper, and a couple dabs of mayo. Heat your beans, drain, and add to the tuna and stir. Add cumin (I'd say about a tablespoon, but again, I don't really deal in exact measurements when not baking or making otherwise precise recipes). Salt and pepper to taste. There should be a lighter taste to it, so the pepper should be minimal. If necessary, add another dab of olive oil and/or lemon juice.

 

Place your pita on the grill and grill evenly on both sides. Pita can grill very quickly and you're only looking to toast it (alternatively, if you're lazy, you can toast it for a few seconds, but it doesn't taste quite as good). Put your lettuce on the pita in a line, dab your tuna on top. Sprinkle a little feta cheese across it. Thinly slice two slices of cucumbers and one slice roma tomato per serving. Place the two cucumbers on either end of the tunapita and place the roma slice between those (it should be resting on the edges of the cucumbers). Put a sprig of parsley on the roma tomato (garnish, not necessary but it makes it look really finished).

 

PUT THAT SHIT IN YO MOUF MOTHA FUCKA

 

Serve with a Pinot Grigio or Shiraz (I used a shiraz, which complimented it very nicely)

 

 

I really need to start taking pictures of these things to pair with the recipes. The meal last night looked SO pro.

 

And for the record, I know not all of you (probably none) have a decent chef's knife, or the patience to use all these fresh ingredients. While I certainly won't hide that I feel fresher is better, if you must you can use things like pre-minced garlic (you'll find it in your produce section, usually) and the like.

 

PROTIP: Taste your food as you make it! One of the best ways you can get better at cooking is to taste your ingredients and learn what each one will add to your food. Foods you've never used or even heard of it will be particularly beneficial to this. Take tahini, for instance. I'm willing bet most of you haven't even heard of tahini, let alone know what it tastes like. Well, dip a finger in there and taste a dab.

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Pretty simple recipe here, brought to you by weed.

 

Bite Sized S'mores!

 

 

 

There are two ways to go about this. You can either fry, or heat them up in another way. You'll need a marshmallow (one for each serving), some crushed graham cracker bits, and melted chocolate glaze.

 

If you don't know how to properly melt chocolate, see the spoiler tag below.

 

Pop your marshmallow into the fryer for just a couple of seconds. You don't want to melt it, just to heat it up. Dip your marshmallow in the chocolate glaze, and immediately roll in the graham cracker crust. Let the chocolate harden completely. PUT IT IN YO MOUF. You can also put the marshmallows on skewers before frying to make it easy to work with and easier to eat.

 

If you want to heat it up in another way, you can use flame on a skewer, stovetop on a skewer, or microwave.

 

 

 

 

Heat up a pot of boiling water. In a glass or metal bowl that will rest on top of the pot without falling in put your chocolate. Place over boiling water until chocolate is melted. This method allows an even melt without fear of burning.

 

 

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it didnt

 

I did

 

when I brought up the idea of deep frying marshmallows in the chat

 

original idea do not steal

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Beanie Weenies:

 

Ingredients: One 28 oz can of baked beans, Two hot dogs

 

Empty half the can of beans into a bowl. Cut both hot dogs into thin slices, and pour into bowl as well. Heat in microwave until warm, or until hot dog slices begin to appear plump. Enjoy.

 

You can also heat the ingredients on their own, heating the beans on the stove and the hot dogs on the grill and mixing afterwards.

 

Makes enough for one person, or two small servings.

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I fucking refuse to eat something that is, or ever has been, referred to as "beanie

 

shudder

 

...weenies"

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microwave

 

don't you EVER use that word again

 

and don't give me that bullshit "i live in a dorm!" excuse, you have a perfectly good open area somewhere around you to make a bonfire to cook a pot of beans

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microwaves were invented before electric ranges

enjoy your out of date nigger appliances

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*something about putting actual effort or work into making food*

 

lol fuck that. What do you think this is, some kind of cooking thread?

 

 

Also, just tried peanut butter and jelly between two slices of French Toast. Pretty damn good.

 

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/french-toast-recipe/index.html

 

^ That sounds like a pretty good recipe. Better than the ghetto-ass way I made it this morning anyway. I didn't mix anything into the eggs and I didn't realize you should let it drip a little first. I also baked it in a toaster oven since I didn't feel like washing a pan afterwards. Despite my laziness and incompetence I still thought it tasted pretty awesome. It'd probably be even better if you actually made it properly.

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Ahem to those snacks. This topic is for actual recipe talk, not small, microwave snacks. In fact, microwaves should almost never be used in proper cooking.

 

As far as the french toast recipe is concerned, I would recommend using a heavy cream instead of half and half, and that recipe isn't well seasoned at all. You want a couple teaspoons of cinnamon and a pinch of nutmeg, as well as a teaspoon of vanilla.

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>beanie weenies as a snack

 

I GUESS that could be done, but this shit was a meal.

 

Also I did technically give alternate cooking instructions so all of you can get off your fancy pedestals and deal with it :D

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beanie weenies

STOP

 

FUCKING

 

SAYING THAT

 

Jesus christ it should be a fucking felony.

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I don't even really remember the last time I used a microwave to prepare food

 

only thing I ever use it for anymore is to defrost things like bread if I don't have the time to simply wait for it to thaw

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STOP

 

FUCKING

 

SAYING THAT

beanie

 

weenies

 

 

 

also screw you guys and your elitist cooking

 

fine I won't share my mom's recipe for Persian Rice and Kebabs. You will never know what you're missing out on.

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