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Dissident

Diss's Dream Catcher

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wrote this as a stream of memories in notepad and i don't feel like formatting it to not be superhuge

 

 

sam coaxes me, george, and alyssa to ditch class

sam drives us to his place in a minivan

sitting in passenger seat

i say "i wish i was high but i'm out of weed"

sam says "oh man"

he starts reaching inside coat pocket

"what? you got some? you selling?"

he pulls out the fattest blunt i've ever seen as he rounds a corner to pull in front of his place

"sweeeeet"

he hands it to me; i light it, take a hit and give it back

he takes a hit

we get out of the car to hang out on the sidewalk

sam offers it to alyssa

see hesitates, has never smoked anything before; tries wafting from lit end

"no it's like this"

she takes a small hit, coughs, dunno if she got anything

we all sit down on the curb, some other guys show up

they all chat unintelligibly

alyssa acts silly like always, starts playing with a plush teddy bear

throws it at guys playfully

i pick it up, set it back down next to her

she starts shivering, says she's cold

i say "yeah it's chilly out and i'm in just a t-shirt"

"i feel kinda funny all over"

"yeah that's how it works"

she gets up, so do i

she says "but it's a really awesome feeling. we should make out to warm up"

"i uh wha-"

we kiss; i'm giddy

we continue hanging out with other people

blunt ends up in her hands again

she takes a huge hit, it's too much; she pukes in a driveway

its awright, she's cool, wants to continue partying

i make sure to monitor her actions

more people show up; it's a gathering in the street

venue shifts around us

now in alleyway between apartments

clearly remember some dude fiddlin with controls for outdoor heaters

some other dude opens his door to reveal he keeps a huge arcade in his place

other stuff happens; everything goes fuzzy at this point

wake up

 

foreveralone.jpg

 

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warning: creepy effexor induced dream

 

In my dream I'd been to a shrink or something and discovered I was schizophrenic.

 

I was having trouble distinguishing between reality and my own psychoses. Also, a bunch of people responded to some personal ads I posted and I started fucking around with them. Like a gang of them, black guys fsr, rolled up to my house at night and I hesitantly went out to join them. I felt like I was drunk or high. I was eager to give them my body and submit. They dragged me off, literally, on my stomach and I remember reveling in feeling like an object while the thought that filled my head was something like You've done it. Finally. Finally a toy. How fucked up in the head are you?

 

Meanwhile, going on in my life, there was some serious flooding happening, carrying debris and shit into town. Very dangerous situation. I was in town with my mom for some reason and we were just heading back home, hurrying to get ahead of the flooding. I asked her about buying me girl clothes. She basically said "we'll see".

 

Then I was in the shower, I think. Or some other very small space. Struggling with a psychotic episode. Finally got sick of it. Burst out of the little room and went I GIVE UP. IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT? I GIVE UP. I GIVE UP. YOU WIN. As in, I was giving up trying to fight the psychosis. Giving up trying to stay connected to reality.

 

HEEEEEEEEEEEELP or something

 

woke up screaming

 

...just a dream?

 

felt weird

 

felt dizzy. Felt like the world was moments from turning into something hideous, or already was. Shit. Still dreaming... or it wasn't a dream at all?

 

AHH... AH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHwoke up screaming again

 

...

 

eyelids heavy ugh I can't see straight. Blood starts pumping in my carotids.

 

still dreaming.

 

HELP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

woke up screaming

 

here I am.

 

tldr: gaia had a rough night

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I was back at school, but this time Diss was with me. He asks me where in the campus was my sister sleeping, and I say "Where most college students sleep, the library!"

 

Then he just replies with a "Yessssssssssssssss" and had this kind of creepy smile on his face.

 

:(

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Like any dream, the events were fast and frantic and hard to separate.

 

Act 1: I showed some kid I met on the street places he could "study" without getting caught. He introduces me to his family, we hit it off well, his sister who's my age keeps hanging all over me (me gusta)

 

Act 2: There's a women's bathroom where a genie dragon is imprisoned. I need Lizzie McGuire to help me summon it, while also diverting everyone's attention from the fact that I'm meticulously searching a women's restroom. I'm afraid the police are after me.

 

Act 3: End up back with the kid and his family. I talk about video games with him and his brother and keep wondering how these kids are so cool since they're like 13 and know every single reference to everything I throw at them WHEN SUDDENLY I'm in a video game. It's supposed to be Doom in the future. There's three of us as big marines with crazy facepaints to differentiate us. We each only get one assault rifile, but each person's is unique and extremely powerful. The game world is a 100-level open-ended 'dungeon' that keeps turning into suburban streets then back to dungeons then suddenly it's the interior of a grocery store, etc. Deeper into it was all dungeon, and I can only imagine what else would have been generated if this wasn't the shortest part of the dream. Hard to explain. In the residential areas there were other people who are unaware of what's going on, and a short day-night cycle. Every night the people go into their houses and the monsters would come out. They were easy enough to kill, but if we died that was game over so it was actually really exciting.

 

It was actually a really cool dream. We finally found a secret safe room and figured out who's who. One guy's entire head was painted like a skull, his name was Mitch and he took the game seriously and seemed to know a lot about it. The other had traditional corpsepaint and was named Mel but we called him Mo to make it easier on us. He didn't take the threat of the monsters very seriously, and kept wanting to go eat or loot residential areas instead of continuing on in the dungeon. We actually had a group dynamic; Mo almost got us killed a few times by losing his gun in a safe room or stuffing his face in a hostile location and Mitch would just tear into him.

 

Shame it was so short. First dream I've wanted to go back into in a long time.

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I don't remember the first part, something about airplanes in Hungary, but I know that it ended with me ejaculating on a waterfall to freeze it. I think I saved the world by doing that? I don't know.

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some kind of fictional animal called a "demo-" something, was like a small scorpion. I assume this was because I came across a scorpion while gardening the other day.

 

...or did I

 

I didn't used to have trouble distinguishing between dreams and what really happened the day before. Fucking Effexor making all my dreams super realistic feeling.

 

Anyway so yeah basically imagine a small black scorpion with no tail, and two sets of pincers. One set of pincers can inject venom. Part one was me reading about them on Wikipedia. Harmless sting, although sometimes people get vomiting, high blood pressure, and some other symptoms.

 

Part two is me finding one and bringing it into the house. Playing with it, letting it crawl around on my arms. At some point it pinches me and my mom is like WOAH WATCH OUT and I'm like naw it's just scared and holding on. Then it goes ahead and stings me and escapes into the house.

 

Part three is me freaking out slightly about having been stung. Nothing ever happens, though. Just a slight throbbing. I watch a stupid hollywood movie about the things in which they grow to enormous size and being stung by them makes you explode violently, or something. I'm pretty sure it's bullshit though so I'm still not worried.

 

Part four is my aunt and cousin come over. Both are highly arachnophobic so they were a little freaked out. Both were acting according to their real world personalities, otherwise. Other than that my aunt and my mom were getting along. At one point I was like WTF DO YOU GUYS HATE EACHOTHER OR NOT and I can't remember what they said. Anyway yeah the demo-whatever walked across the couch at one point and my aunt freaked a bit (not nearly as much as she would have in reality). That's about it.

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I hate dreams where you buy something, then expect to have it when you wake up.

 

 

Right, where'd I put that 3DS, I know its arou - fuck.

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Dreamed I was cuddling with my girlfriend in the basement of an amazing house.

 

Woke up.

 

Fuck.

 

This happened to me but she's not my girlfriend. Foreveralone.jpg

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Had a dream where I was part of a New England old money family. The first part involved driving around what looked like a cross between New England and Swiss countryside doing a scavenger hunt with my female ace fighter pilot cousin and her dickhead arranged fiancée, a scendario no doubt concerning the inadequacy stemming from the exploits of my actual superhuman step-cousins and their fairly rich family.

 

The second part took place in some kind of fraternal order where everyone wore powdered wigs and colonial era garb. I was up on stage with some friends in similar costume trying to entertain them with bad period jokes and an 18 wheeler I had clipped Christmas lights to.

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I started off by having a dream about a movie where seven atheists were trapped in a highly religious society which had given them the choice of being celibate to prevent them from having atheist kids or receiving the death penalty. They all chose the death penalty, but due to a technicality, my character, a young black man, was allowed to go free and leave the city after the execution. I spent most of the dream wandering around the city which was a mix of slums, a university and a highly advanced subway system connecting the two; and talking to my comrades about their choice. The movie ended with their death and my walking off into the sunset.

 

This ended up being a dream within a dream in which I was simply dreaming what the movie might be like, and was going to see it. I was going with my father, a young ethic fiend of mine, and his father to see this movie in the theater. We were in a similar situation to the movie, vacationing on an island on the Texas coast inhabited entirely by Mormons. It was kind of like a crazy theme park with strange monuments and customs, and other weird stuff like an all-glass, water propelled hovercraft. We visited schools and museums where people were told crazy stuff about laws and history, and I wondered if we'd even be able to see such a movie in a place like this, and it turned out the answer was no. My friend and I ended up in the residential area of town (which was made up entirely of palatial mansions inhabited exclusively by whites) buying ice cream in a shop. I went to the bathroom, and while I was in the stall this woman came in and started giving a hand job to a guy in the next stall. Once he saw me in there he backed out, so she offered me instead and I agreed. It wasn't going anywhere so I asked her for oral instead and she obliged happily, and then I woke up.

 

Damn.

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i gotta remember to turn the tv off before i fall asleep. dreamed that i destroyed god, woke up to see some televangelist droning on. ugh

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local fox broadcasting. it was american dad when i fell asleep at 1am and it switched over to crap in the morning

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had another dream where I was talking to a shrink about serious paranoia and he was being less than helpful

 

and in my dream, I was dreaming. Again and again and again the false awakenings, again and again the extended senses of "this can't be right this is wrong WHATS GOING ON I DONT UDNERSTAND WHT IS IT of I was dreaming" and then and I'd go back to the shrink, then it'd happen again

 

ugh

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I dreamed the other night that I was moving out for the first time again. This time my mom was helping me, and I was moving into a sort of campground/trailer park that had wooden rooms. It was a bit larger than my dorm now, but it had no roof and it was going to rain soon. I figured I could just use old scrap wood to build a roof for my new home, and also finish the inner walls. Most everyone else lived like they would in normal homes, but they had no walls or roof themselves. So one guy had a treehouse-like home with small circular floors on different levels, where he'd have a chair or a grill or something on each floor. No one seemed to care about the weather conditions though but that might have been because they didn't have any cool stuff.

 

I kind of think there's a metaphor in there about how I feel like I'm moving into new territory just to find that it's not what I expected and really not anything good for me the way it is, but I'll take the things I love with me and do the best I can to make my new surroundings more accommodating. It could also be that the people who 'came before me' left things in such awful shape that now I have to patch it all back together to get some livable space.

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Ugh, alright so the other day I was feeling totally out of it, I felt like I was missing something and I just couldn't figure out what. I was so messed up I couldn't even seem to talk to people normally and I was just acting/thinking weird

 

then later on it hit me. I realized that I had a traumatizing dream the night before and I vaguely remember lying in bed thinking about all this shit that didn't make any sense and just being horrified out of my mind

 

I think part of my nightmare was about my keets being ripped apart by someone. Part of my dream was about me losing all my money and getting fired from my job, with nobody helping me out because they just couldn't understand me or they just didn't want to help me because I'm an atheist.

 

I'm just glad I figured out why I was so out of it that day though. That would've bothered me for awhile if I hadn't figured out why. Man, I seem to have a lot of problems during sleep

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